Sunset, Sunrise

As one "sunshine" rises, another one sets.

Last Friday April 4, our sister Kathy gave birth to a healthy baby boy named John Micah. Shortly after his delivery, however, Kathy's heart stopped working, and despite the best efforts of numerous doctors, they were not able to revive her.

Kathy was the "sunshine" of her husband's life, and a bright light to all who knew her. Although her light has been obscured, we now have a new source of illumination: John Micah. He is our new "sunshine", our bright, soft, squirmy, squeaky, hungry little source of joy.

We are obviously still in shock from the events of last Friday, but we have also been overwhelmed with the love and support shown by friends, family, church families, co-workers, doctors, nurses, and other members of the community. Kathy was incredibly special to us and many others--there just aren't enough words to express that adequately. That is why we are having such a hard time accepting her death.

But someone reminded us that, although the death of such a remarkable person at such a young age may seem like a waste to us, in our time-bound perspective, in God's eternal perspective her brief life and self-sacrificing manner of death are being used to accomplish His plans for her and us and Micah. He sees the big picture and asks us to trust Him as he guides us through this time. We trust that he will lead us "through valleys of sorrow to rivers of joy".

I'm sure we'll have more to say about all this, but for now we just needed to update the blog. There have been too many sad posts on our blog, it seems like. But we don't grieve without hope. We have confidence in God's plans for us now and in the age to come. He is our strength, and our portion forever.

What else could happen?

Here is a rundown on our last week of crazy ups and downs.

Tuesday 3/25
8:30am – Janet’s appointment with Dr. Mericle went great! He basically gave her the “green light” to do as much as she feels (including international travel J and work). The green light only has one catch: she has to get one more MRI in mid-May to make sure no infection has returned. It’s kind of hard to comprehend it now, but this really is a big deal. Assuming there is no infection still in her head, Janet is officially recovered her craniotomy, even though she gets tired easily. The aneurysm has been clipped and we can finally move past it. Technically, she’s healthier than ever before!
9:30am – From the parking lot of the Starbucks on 21st Ave, we called Donna, our contact at the agency working on our Russian adoption. Donna has a great Rhode Island accent, by the way. We tell her the good news about being cleared to travel. Her next step is to call Russia to tell them to set up a date for us to come.
10:30am – As Mark is walking in the door at our house, the phone is ringing … it’s Donna again. She has bad news and good news. The bad news is that the Russian authorities are no longer holding our original referral for us. They said that they would while Janet recovered, but they changed their minds. The boy we thought was going to be our Spencer is going to someone else’s home after all. We’re still not sure what to make of this—it’s confusing and disorienting. One thing is for sure—that little fella is not coming to our house, so we wish him the best and trust God has the right home prepared for him. Pray for him and his forever family.
The good news is that Donna had a new referral for us immediately …

Wednesday 3/26
At lunchtime we received the information on our new referral from Russia and sent copies of it to be evaluated by our Russian physician consultant.
Janet went back to work, but really just to visit for an hour or so.

Thursday - Friday 3/27-28
Janet started going back to work gradually for a few hours at a time. We both stayed pretty anxious about hearing from the Russian doctor, but he would call soon enough …

Sunday 3/30
We both went to church together for the first time since early January.

Monday 3/31
Finally got a call from the Russian doctor, who said this little guy seems to be fine except for a low weight and delayed development. These are common for children in orphanages, so he will just need some “extra calories and care” when he gets home. (We had already planned on that extra care part; he is going to get smothered with love). He will turn two on June 7th. His report seems to indicate that he has a sensitive spirit, so start praying for his transition to our home.

The Russian doctor also gave Janet his professional recommendation concerning her tendency to encounter unusual problems: [in his heavy, heavy Russian accent] “cut it out!” It was pretty funny, guess you had to be there.

Now we are wondering if we should give this new little guy a different name. (Sorry, Uncle Nathan, not “Boris, Kenneth, or William”)

We should learn more information about expected travel times soon.

Calendar Use 101

We learned something today.

When using an calendar, for example to know when to go to a doctor's appointment or medical procedure, it is important to consult your calendar more than once to make sure you have the right date in mind. It also is important to compare your appointment card with your calendar, perhaps more than once (especially if you are sleep deprived, stressed out, or heavily medicated).

We have learned this the hard way. For weeks we were convinced that Janet had a follow-up MRI scheduled for this Saturday at 11:30am. So today when we got an automated call from the hospital about the MRI appointment on FRIDAY at 11:30, we were surprised. But when we checked the appointment card, there it was, plain as day, "3/7/08". And when we compared that date with our calendars, yup, sure enough, that's Friday not Saturday. Probably writing the appointment in our calendar would have helped us too.

So that's our funny news. Now for the good news ...

We had a good visit with Dr. Mericle's nurse practitioner this afternoon. She said Janet's incision is healing well and it appears to not be infected any longer. After she is done with her IV antibiotics tomorrow they want her to take an oral antibiotic for 10 days, then come back to see the doctor on the 25th. We were so happy to go home after the appointment instead of going to the hospital!

Of course we're not out of the woods yet (how big are these woods?! are we going in circles?), but it seems like we're still "heading" in the right direction--thanks for your prayers!!

Mark & Janet

New Pictures of Nathan

Today Nathan Daniel Carlton is 9 months! He is getting so big!! I have to get better soon so we will be ready when it is time to go pick him up in Guatemala. It is always an encouragement when we get pictures and we can see he is happy and healthy. Please continue to pray for him and for my quick recovery.

The Month of Janet. . .

Around here we refer to February as “the Month of Janet” because of the three special dates that occur in that month: Valentine’s Day on the 14th, our wedding anniversary on the 24th, and the most special day of all – Janet’s Birthday on the 28th. (Way to make life difficult for yourself, there, Mark.)

In 2008, however, the annual month-long celebration fell far short of our expectations. Brain surgery and hanging out in Vanderbilt hospital are not our idea of a fun time, despite what you might have heard. Life has been crazy, but we’re still thankful for many things. So, for the sake of reflection and remembrance, we’d like to review some of the highlights/lowlights for the month. Maybe next year when we look back with more perspective we’ll be able to see why M-of-J ’08 had to be the way it was.

Jan 28 – Craniotomy. We kicked off the celebration of Month of Janet early with a marathon brain surgery lasting about 12 hours – from 7:30am to 7:00pm – at Vanderbilt Univ Hospital (VUH). What a long day! The first half was spent doing a complicated test of the blood flow in J’s head to determine whether or not her aneurysm could be safely clipped. After that was checked off the list, the surgeon (Dr. Mericle) removed a piece of J’s skull, navigated his instruments carefully to the aneurysm site, clipped the little bugger, tested the blood flow again, and closed things up. End result: No more aneurysm! I guess that really is worth celebrating.

Feb 1 – First Trip Home. After a difficult week recovering in the ICU (lots of pain and swelling), Janet was released from VUH on Friday. She was still a bit “out of it”. For example, she fell asleep on the drive home while talking to her sister on the phone. The first week back at home was hard because Janet’s pill schedule was like a nightmare.

Feb 7 – First Trip Back to VUH. Janet went back to the hospital via an overflowing ER. She felt miserable because “post-operative aseptic meningitis” or inflammation of the cerebro-spinal fluid was causing pain and stiffness in her head and neck. It took two and a half days to confirm that diagnosis, but on the Friday 8th we were headed home again with two weeks of steroids to knock out the inflammation. They also simplified her pill schedule which allowed us to get more sleep and have a much less cranky week.

Feb 14 – For Valentine’s Day, some friends offered to bring us food from any restaurant we wanted. The winner was broccoli cheese soup from Jason’s Deli.

Feb 16-17 – First Nice Weekend in a while. Janet actually felt pretty good this weekend. She even drove with Mark to Starbucks, DQ, and Wal-Mart. What more could you ask for!

Feb 20 – Second Trip Back to VUH. Janet’s incision had gotten infected, so she was admitted to VUH for IV antibiotics and an MRI. Half of the doctors on Mericle’s team thought the antibiotics would do the trick, but the other half felt that surgery would be necessary to clean out the incision. Thankfully, Dr. Mericle broke the tie in favor of antibiotics only. To enhance the drama of it all he waited to see Janet and give us his opinion until 8:15 the night before we thought she was going to have surgery. We were doing cartwheels around the room after he told us the good news, which was quite a feat since Janet was still hooked up to an IV pole. We finally got to come home again on Friday the 22nd.

Feb 24 – Happy 7th Anniversary!! We were both exhausted so we slept through church and exchanged cards later that day.

Feb 28 – Happy 30th Birthday, Janet! We celebrated at midnight with a vancomycin (or was it cefapime) infusion and two pieces of chocolate pie. Janet got a nice bracelet that has birthstones of all the members of her family: amethyst for herself, topaz for Spencer, diamond (cz J) for Eli, and emerald for Nathan (and Mark).

Feb 29 – Leap Day. Woo hoo, it’s Friday! Janet has gotten the hang of administering the IV antibiotics although it takes most of her time. Hopefully one more week of this will clear up the infection and March can be hospital free!

Happy Valentine's Day

It's amazing the simple things we take for granted. Janet went to Kroger with Mark's mom today, just to take a short field trip on a sunny day. She enjoyed it but it was exhausting. Staying awake for an entire hour-long show is also surprisingly hard post-surgery. Even so, today was a pretty good day, despite the incessant barking of the neighbor's dog and having to start weaning herself off the pain meds even though she doesn't feel ready.

Both of our mothers have been a huge help this week. Mark's mom (Mary Ann) usually stays with Janet during the day to make sure she is OK and takes her meds on time. She is also helps with laundry, dishes, and special projects that Janet can't do by herself. Janet's mom (Linda) comes by every morning before work to massage her sore neck--she has the 'special touch'. She also goes to the store as many times as we come up with a special request. Janet's Aunt Nancy has filled in occasionally to give Mary Ann a break. We've also enjoyed some wonderful meals from friends three times already this week. Not to mention the care-basket full of chocolate, nail polish, and a very soft bunny from the ladies at church.

We can't say how much we appreciate everyone's help and ongoing prayers. To say we are blessed doesn't even touch it. Our main requests currently are for toleration of pain as Janet reduces her pain meds, for the steroids to keep knocking out the inflammation in her spinal fluid, and for patience to realize it is still going to be a while before Janet feels 100% normal.

On the adoption front, we got some good news about the process moving along for Nathan in Guatemala. His DNA test has been completed to verify that he is the son of his birthmom. Additionally, his case is in the first stage of the court process (family court). These are just some of the early milestones in the process, but it's good to know he is gradually moving closer to coming home. We miss him. He is just so stinkin' cute.

Finally, in 10 days we will be celebrating our 7 year anniversary. We can't believe how quickly those years have gone by, but at the same time we feel like we've been married for decades. Either way we're grateful that we're closer now than we could have dreamed possible when we first got married.

Happy Valentine's Day,
Mark & Janet

Janet had a pretty good day yesterday (2/4) which was a big relief since that was not the case Sunday. Her pain was much much worse Sunday--the meds didn't seem to be helping at all. But yesterday the pain has been more bearable. Mark went back to school and to work today, and various family members are staying with Janet during the day. They have been such a blessing to just hang out and tell her when to take he meds. Keep praying for continued pain relief and for patience & strength for all of us. And some good rest at night.
Pray also for Janet's Granddad. He is still in ICU and the tests determined some small blood "leaks" (basically bleeding internally).