A Day for Remembering

November 12 is a day that we always remember two significant events: Kathy's birthday and Janet's stroke.


Kathy would have been 28 today. We still miss her, but look forward to joining her in the celebration around God's throne someday. We enjoy watching her son grow up so quickly, and try make the most of the brief time we've been given with him and everyone else we love. We try to be thankful instead of anxious, bitter, or fearful. And we remember how special, and normal, our little sister was. You should read what her husband had to say about her today at http://micahschronicles.blogspot.com.

Now, about that other milestone... 10 years ago today, while Janet's family was celebrating Kathy's 18th birthday, Janet was feeling very sick with a horrible headache. I (Mark) was at a collegiate retreat, and when I talked to her on the phone she sounded incoherent, but I didn't know what to think. Her parents took her to the hospital the next morning, and we soon discovered she'd had a stroke. Yes, at 21 years old, only 2 months after we had gotten engaged, Janet had an ischemic stroke. It affected the part of her mind that processes speech and working memory, and in the first few days it was, well, frightening. She couldn't remember short-term things and couldn't get words "off her tongue". She had what is known as aphasia. In the first weeks, however, she improved rapidly. After several months of outpatient therapy, she was able to gradually go back to school. Wow, did we learn a lot about cognition, talking to your professors, and adjusting your plans! Occasionally, we still notice little aphasic moments, like switching pronouns ("you" vs. "me" - which can really be confusing for a husband who genuinely wants to do what his wife is asking!!) or using a wrong, random word. That's why we have a saying, "words and their meanings are interchangeable". Of course, people do this all the time, but for Janet it happens because of how her brain had to re-wire itself after the stroke. What an amazing Creator, to give us such resilient minds!

Anyway, so much has happened since then, that we rarely talk about the stroke. But TODAY, we remember how God watched over Janet through a very scary episode in our lives. Oh, and Dr. Kirshner, if you're reading this--thanks! The phantom does float over the foggy heath, and with much less trouble than he used to. Thanks also to all the therapists at Vanderbilt's Stallworth Rehab and the Bill Wilkerson Pi Beta Phi clinic, especially for teaching Janet how to play "nerts", the coolest card game ever.

The important thing on days like this, when we remember times of grief and times of deliverance, is to remember who holds us in his hands, how good He is, and how graciously He works through friends and family when we need it the most.

A Gift for Bart & An Interview with the Carltons

Please humor us for one last post about Washington D. C.

As soon as we found out about our nomination as Angels in Adoption and the opportunity to interact with our Congressman, I knew I wanted to give him a book I had read recently.

Russell Moore, a professor at the seminary I attend, recently wrote a book called Adoption for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families and Churches.

Two of Dr. Moore's four sons came into his family by adoption, and this book tells of their homecoming and the development of their father's attitude and ideas about the significance of adoption. Janet and Nathan had given me the book for Father's Day, and I read it over the summer. It both confirmed and expanded my understanding of the value the Christian faith places on adoption.

I had met one of Dr. Moore's assistants recently, so I contacted him about getting a signed copy. He and Dr. Moore were eager to help, so we went to D. C. with an autographed copy of the book to give as our "thank you" gift to Bart.

This is the note we put with it.

Congressman Gordon,

Our family appreciates greatly the honor of being your Angel in Adoption nominee. It has allowed us to honor the memory of our dear sister Kathy Robison, who worked up to the very last hours of her life to unite families through adoption, and to showcase own little ambassador for adoption--our son Nathan. He reminds us daily of the great love of our Heavenly Father and the great number of orphans who still need homes.

Please accept this book, autographed by the author, as a token of our gratitude. Dr. Moore is a professor at the seminary I attend, and has his own compelling adoption story. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did.

Sincerely, Mark, Janet, and Nathan Carlton

We really do feel like our son, by his winsome personality, polite demeanor, and toddler-like silliness, is an outstanding ambassador for adoption. At first glance it is clear that he came into our family by adoption. But if you watch a bit longer it is even more clear that he is our son. If it walks, acts, talks, and clears its throat like a Carlton, it must be a Carlton! Similarly, God can take absolute strangers--even enemies--and make them into a family, "members of the household of God" (Ephesians 2:19).

I would encourage anyone to read Adopted for Life. In it Dr. Moore writes as an engaging storyteller, an encouraging pastor, an unflinching social commentator, and a tenderhearted father. His work puts Nathan's story--and our own--in the perspective of God's eternal plan. Or if you don't like to read, I found a video synopsis of each of his chapters here!

On another note, we were interviewed last week by the Murfreesboro Post, and they wrote a very nice article about our story. Thanks, Lisa, for your interest in sharing our story!

Thursday: One More Museum Before We Hit the Road

Thursday it was time to go home.

But first . . . breakfast in the armchair. Mmm. Cheerios!
Before we started driving, we made time for one more trek through the city. We hopped on the metro and headed toward the Smithsonian area. The closest stop came out in the courtyard of between the Ronald Reagan Int'l Trade Center and Woodrow Wilson Bldg., where we had been the night before.

We stopped to smell the roses--the giant metal roses. Not so fragrant, really.


Our destination, however, was the National Museum of American History.


We only had a few hours to make a dent in the MANY interesting museums in D. C., so we picked this one. Janet really wanted to see the exhibits on the First Ladies and Julia Child.


The entire kitchen of the famous cook is recreated there. It was an impressive sight.

After enjoying many other artifacts with this little guy...



...we went outside and watched the fountain in front of the building. It would turn on and off every few minutes. Each time the water stopped, Nathan would hold up his hands and say, "[Where did the] water go?"


Can you see that he likes the fountain more than the museum?


And can you see why we like him even more than he likes the fountain?


It was a good way to end our time in D. C. One last subway ride took us back to our car and to the long road home.

We drove, and drove, and drove. When we stopped for supper at Cracker Barrell, we used grandaddy's GPS, a regular map, and a few crayons to pick out our hotel for the night. We chose a place in Abingdon, Virginia, the oldest English-speaking settlement west of the Blue Ridge Mountains. It was very late when we got there, but in the morning (on Friday) it turned out to be an interesting town.

There was a metal banjo dude...


...a couple of Carlton dude's...

...and a historic theatre--the Barter Theatre. When it opened during the Great Depression, the actors would get paid in goods like ham, produce, etc. Thus, the name...

From the pictures we saw inside, it looked like they put on quite a show.

Another landmark is the Martha Washington Inn, which you can see in the background here.

When Mark's dad was asking us about the trip before we left, he mentioned that he had stayed at the Martha Washington Inn one time for the low price of $35 . . . in the 1980's!

So, just for curiosity, we asked about their rates . . . which now start at $250 per night. Ha! Reminds me of the time when I was in high school, and he gave me a $1 bill, saying "put about 3 gallons in the car, please". At the time gas was $1/gallon. But in his mind it was (for brief moment) the same price as when he was in college--33 cents/gallon!

Anyway, after a few more pics of our boy...

...we got our motor runnin', headed out on the highway, and rolled into the 'Boro later that afternoon. What a week! What a trip!

What a good God to bring our family together!

Thanks for reading about our trip. Many of you were praying for us the whole time, so we wanted to let you hear the story. It was certainly a fun episode for us!

Wednesday in D.C.: Ceremony & Gala

Wednesday was Day 5 of our trip to Washington D. C. and it started out slow. We had no morning plans, so we slept in and had Starbucks for our late breakfast.

Nathan enjoyed the down time by playing on his stroller.

Our first event of the day was lunch and our "Pinning Ceremony" in the Senate Caucus room of the Russell Senate Building. This building is one of the office buildings across the street from the Capitol, and this room was beautiful (and apparently historic too).


The food was not necessarily historic, but good enough.

But the main thing was receiving our "Angel in Adoption" certificate and pin. They took professional photos, but we haven't gotten them yet. We tried to take a picture with our own camera, but it didn't turn out so well.

The young lady standing with us is Sarah, our Congressman's legislative aide. She was the first one to notify us about the award, and she was our main contact with Bart's office while we were in D. C. We enjoyed getting to know her, and she told us she was adopted herself.

The elevators in the Senate & House buildings were very ornate--we were just glad to not have to take more marble steps with the stroller.
After the ceremony we had time to go to the National Gallery of Art. We decided to take a cab and got one just before a brief but heavy rain. Whew!

While Mark looked at an exhibit called "the Art of Power" with a lot of cool Spanish Imperial armor, Janet and Nathan found some souvenirs in the gift shop.

When we came back out, the sun was shining again...

...and we returned to our hotel room for some more down-time (aka goofing off in pajamas & daddy's shoes time)
That evening was the big event - the Angels in Adoption Gala and Reception.

We took a taxi since we were dressed up, but we were delayed slightly when Nancy Pelosi and her security crew showed up at the hotel for an event she was attending there.

After they got out of the way, we finally were on our way to the Ronald Reagan Building & International Trade Center.

We felt honored to be included in this program along with all the other Angels, including the three National Angels in Adoption - Al Roker, Judge Michael Nash, and Sean & Leigh Ann Tuohy.
Al Roker is, well, Al Roker. Judge Michael Nash started National Adoption Day to help judges clear out a backlog of adoptions for foster children. The Tuohy's adopted a young man named Michael Oher who was going nowhere. But once he had a family, it turns out he was quite the football player. He was a first round draft pick for the Ravens this year. Their story has been turned into a book and a movie that comes out this Thanksgiving called The Blind Side.

The couple is played by Tim McGraw & Sandra Bullock in the movie, but here is the real deal:

Meanwhile, in the back of the room at our table, we were just having a good time in our fancy clothes. We got dressed up real nice! Look at those beautiful smiles.

Nathan's chicken & fruit cup were expensive (our tix were free, but not his) but actually very tasty.

Nathan made a new friend--Representative Bob Whittman (VA), who was sitting at our table.

It was late, so Nathan was getting silly. He had a blast giving Bob "fives" and telling about how his Mommy had just changed his poopy diaper. Oh yes, you heard it right...

Nathan had a poopy. No surprise there. He had just finished a large bowl of fruit and a few big pieces of chicken. You know the drill. But then Janet had to find a place to change him. Where did she end up? On the floor. With a makeshift changing mat. In the hallway of the Ronald Reagan Building & International Trade Center! In her fancy dress, shoes, and pantyhose. With all the Gala attendees walking around them as they went to the restroom ... and Nathan saying "Hi!" to them all. Such a polite kid.

And then, to top it all off, when he came back and started playing with Representative Bob, he kept saying, "I went poop! Stinky!" to him. When Bob asked Janet to translate, she told him the truth. (Sometimes the truth stinks.)Our buddy Sarah from Bart Gordon's office was there too. She enjoyed playing with Nathan too. After the gala, there was a dessert reception, and she and Janet had a good time talking about life, etc.

Then we caught another taxi back to the hotel and hit the hay. Our Angels in Adoption experience was officially over. What an amazing experience it was for all of us.

Hobart the Cat (and Cousin Zac)

Tuesday night of our trip to D. C. we didn't have any activities, so we took the subway out to visit Janet's cousin who lives in the city. We also got to meet for the first time his girlfriend Monica and his cat Hobart.
Here is Nathan with our hosts.
Nathan had always been skittish around pets before our D. C. trip. But while we were at Josh's house he had warmed up to the puppies that lived there. When we met Hobart, Zac showed Nathan how to pet him softly, etc. and they became best buddies.


Needless to say, Nathan had a blast and still talks about "Hobart Cat" regularly.
Aside from having a delicious home-cooked meal with Zac & Monica, the other highlight of the evening for Nathan was riding the Metro subway--or as he called it, "Choo-choo-fast!" Imagine his eyes as big as saucers and his arms pumping in front of his chest as if he's running (which is his sign for "fast") while he says that: "choo-choo-fast"!

I hear my train a-comin'...

So after our visit and the subway ride home we had finished another long but exciting day.
We were glad to see our hotel again. Check out the view!

State Department Visit and Capitol Hill Day

Tuesday (Day 4) was a big day! Soon after 8am we were in the lobby of the hotel waiting for a bus to take us to the Department of State! Here we are all dressed up, waiting in the lobby. In the background, the man sitting in front of the Winston Churchill poster is Judge Nash, the man who started National Adoption Day. He was one of the National Angels in Adoption recipients.

After we arrived at the State Dept. and went through security we arrived in an exhibit hall where they host receptions. Everyone was crowded around a square area where a podium had been set up. We wedged our way to the front of the crowd and sat on the floor so Nathan would be able to see. And we waited. And waited. And waited.
Nathan got a little squirmy...

...but eventually our extra-special host arrived, Madame Secretary Hillary Rodham Clinton. In this photo, Sen. Mary Landrieu (chair of CCAI advisory board) is presenting a picture to Sec. Clinton. It is a beautiful shot of a little girl looking over the reflecting pool toward the Capitol.
Sen. Landrieu and Congressman Jim McDermott each spoke briefly, and then Hillary talked to us. We were literally sitting at her feet! You can hear & watch video of the speeches here and here.

Whatever your political views may be, pray for this woman. In her position she has ENORMOUS diplomatic influence over issues related to international adoption. Pray that she will use her position to pave the way home for orphans.

After the reception, we waited outside for a long time because there weren't enough spots on the bus for everyone. It was a beautiful morning, so we talked to other angels and just hung out.

What a handsome young man! And what a shiny, bald-headed daddy!

When the bus finally came we headed back to Capitol Hill for an afternoon of advocacy. CCAI had set up meetings with our legislators to let the angels tell their stories. Doing so would hopefully make a significant impression in the busy halls of Congress.

First we joined a seminar hosted by several congressional staffers to learn about adoption legislation being considered. Janet and Nathan didn't stay long because we were overdue for lunch, and he was restless. What came next was more significant for us.

After the seminar the angels were grouped into teams for the rest of the afternoon. With these teams we were to go eat lunch and proceed to appointments with our respective congressmen and senators. Our team was a very friendly group--two families who had adopted and served foster kids for decades, a mother with her two daughters adopted from Vietnam, an attorney who was also an adoptive dad, and a lobbyist for foster kids. Getting to know them was one of the highlights of the trip--they certainly were "angels". The two girls also kept Nathan entertained as we trekked around, under, and through the Capitol, the Congressional office building, and the Senate office building. There are innumerable stairs in these buildings, not to mention the ever-present security checkpoints, and we had a cranky two-year-old in a stroller with a tight schedule. It was a little stressful at times, but our team members helped us out, and Nathan really handled it well considering. Of course, he was being carried like a prince in his stroller up and down these marble staircases.

We started with lunch in the Longworth building cafeteria—it was pretty impressive—but there wasn't much time to enjoy it. Plus we had to wake Nathan up to get him to eat, and he was very cranky and uncooperative. Then we were off to our first appointment with Rep. Dale Kildee of Michigan.

Our leader had advised us on the most effective way to do our visits. The constituent angel would do most of the talking, followed by brief stories from a few of the other angels. In Rep. Kildee's office I gave this brief synopsis of our story:

My name is Mark Carlton, and this is my wife Janet, and our son Nathan. Nathan came home to us from Guatemala last August, but it was a long journey of about two years to get to that point. In addition to the never-ending paperwork we had to deal with several personal difficulties, including Janet's unexpected brain surgery and the death of her sister during childbirth. But despite all those obstacles, we were finally able to bring Nathan home. It has been about 14 months since then, and Nathan is thriving. The thing that consistently humbles me is that the only thing he needed to flourish was a home. So we feel privileged to be his parents. But that also saddens me because I know there are so many other orphans like him that just need a home. So, anything you can do to pave the way home for those children would be well worth the effort.

Keep in mind that, as I was talking, I was also moving Nathan's stroller back and forth in between the coffee table and the big congressional desk in an effort to appease our cranky little man. As soon as we had come into the office he got very whiny and uncomfortable—maybe it's a natural survival skill—politician aversion. But the only way he would stay calm was to keep moving. (We eventually went out into the hall for a while) It was a little nerve-wracking for his parents, and it was the same scenario in each of the office visits we had, although he got a little better each time.

Next we went to Bart Gordon's office. Since he was already more familiar with our story, we didn't share as much, but talked more about the kinds of problems Bart's office helped us with--immigration beauracracy, etc. Then we took pictures! Notice the nice view of the Capitol from his window! (Slightly less interesting is the marker in Mark's hand--it had been keeping Nathan occupied during the boring visit.)

This photo was taken in front of a recent picture from the refurbished Hubble telescope of a newly discovered galaxy.
Before our next appointment we went to a gift shop, then headed across the capitol complex to the far side where the Senatorial offices are. More steps, more security, more walking. We finally ended up at Idaho Sen. Jim Risch's office. He and his wife were gracious hosts, but we let others do the talking. And then, more pictures!

At this point the day was over, at least as far as our Angelic duties were concerned. What an experience! We had been told not to be disappointed if we didn't get to see our congressman because they often have to attend to other things (for example the healthcare debate!) and seeing their staff is almost as effective. But we were able to see all three leaders in person. The best part, however, was getting to know the other angels. They really were nice folks with remarkable stories like ours. Here is a shot of our little band of angels walking behind the Capitol.