Making Up for Lost Time: Bonding and Boundaries

Greetings from the Carlton household. If you're wondering how we're doing, the summary answer would be... well, I can't think of one word for it. But you might say we're making up for lost time in terms of bonding with Nathan and setting boundaries for him. It is wonderful to have our boy home, but parenting a toddler is difficult enough without having 14 months of catching up to do. For example, Nathan has been "fighting sleep" at night and naptime. We have made some improvements with our evening routine that have helped him, but that doesn't always work. That is a normal thing for toddlers, we're told, but for us there is the added balance between bonding and boundaries. We want to train him that screaming when we put him in the bed is not OK, but our first priority is that he knows we love him and are the ones he can trust to meet his needs. That bonding must come first, even if that means we're putting off some of our battles with various boundaries until later. It's a balancing act, and all three of us are still getting acquainted. So we appreciate your prayers as we patiently unlock the puzzle that is our son.

But only a few parts of the puzzle are so difficult. Most of our 9 days at home have been a great joy, and his adjustment is going great. Here's that side of the story, plus some pictures.

Nathan loved playing on his grandparent's new playset. We went to try it out one day last week, we know we will be spending a lot of time out there.

Over the last week we have been gradually introducing Nathan to his family. He does great with new people in small doses, especially if you just play it cool and wait for him to warm up to you. He loves to give his new friends "five". Here is his first encounter with his cousin Micah.

Besides making new friends, Nathan loves to eat. LOVES to eat. Sometimes this is a messy affair, as you can see here. (By the way, one of those nostrils has a piece of bread hanging from it, and the other is a bit runny. The runny nose wasn't as bad today, so maybe it's clearing up.)

But as the following pic shows, all that food is doing what it's supposed to: sticking to his ribs. Well, more specifically his belly. Look at that gut!

One of his favorite toys is a police motorcycle/rocker that has a lot of loud buttons. We seem to get our best smiles from him when he's playing on it.

Finally, he also loves to look out through the cat door in our kitchen. We don't have a cat, but the previous owner of the house did. Whether he can see anything in the garage or not, he is fascinated by this little window. We are so glad we caught him in the act. He is a funny little guy!

So those are just a few things that are going on at our house. Lots of fun with toys. Lots of tickling. Lots of exploring (inside and outside). Lots of getting to know each other. And a little bit of difficulty as we all work through a major transition, especially for this little guy. Again, we appreciate your prayers for us as we establish a daily routine that gives him lots of love with all the right boundaries. We are grateful for how well things have already gone.

One final thing: when Nathan is trying our patience, I always try to remember how patient our heavenly Father is with us. Isn't his grace amazing?