Making Up for Lost Time: Bonding and Boundaries

Greetings from the Carlton household. If you're wondering how we're doing, the summary answer would be... well, I can't think of one word for it. But you might say we're making up for lost time in terms of bonding with Nathan and setting boundaries for him. It is wonderful to have our boy home, but parenting a toddler is difficult enough without having 14 months of catching up to do. For example, Nathan has been "fighting sleep" at night and naptime. We have made some improvements with our evening routine that have helped him, but that doesn't always work. That is a normal thing for toddlers, we're told, but for us there is the added balance between bonding and boundaries. We want to train him that screaming when we put him in the bed is not OK, but our first priority is that he knows we love him and are the ones he can trust to meet his needs. That bonding must come first, even if that means we're putting off some of our battles with various boundaries until later. It's a balancing act, and all three of us are still getting acquainted. So we appreciate your prayers as we patiently unlock the puzzle that is our son.

But only a few parts of the puzzle are so difficult. Most of our 9 days at home have been a great joy, and his adjustment is going great. Here's that side of the story, plus some pictures.

Nathan loved playing on his grandparent's new playset. We went to try it out one day last week, we know we will be spending a lot of time out there.

Over the last week we have been gradually introducing Nathan to his family. He does great with new people in small doses, especially if you just play it cool and wait for him to warm up to you. He loves to give his new friends "five". Here is his first encounter with his cousin Micah.

Besides making new friends, Nathan loves to eat. LOVES to eat. Sometimes this is a messy affair, as you can see here. (By the way, one of those nostrils has a piece of bread hanging from it, and the other is a bit runny. The runny nose wasn't as bad today, so maybe it's clearing up.)

But as the following pic shows, all that food is doing what it's supposed to: sticking to his ribs. Well, more specifically his belly. Look at that gut!

One of his favorite toys is a police motorcycle/rocker that has a lot of loud buttons. We seem to get our best smiles from him when he's playing on it.

Finally, he also loves to look out through the cat door in our kitchen. We don't have a cat, but the previous owner of the house did. Whether he can see anything in the garage or not, he is fascinated by this little window. We are so glad we caught him in the act. He is a funny little guy!

So those are just a few things that are going on at our house. Lots of fun with toys. Lots of tickling. Lots of exploring (inside and outside). Lots of getting to know each other. And a little bit of difficulty as we all work through a major transition, especially for this little guy. Again, we appreciate your prayers for us as we establish a daily routine that gives him lots of love with all the right boundaries. We are grateful for how well things have already gone.

One final thing: when Nathan is trying our patience, I always try to remember how patient our heavenly Father is with us. Isn't his grace amazing?

Home

We're home, and we're tired. But what a wondeful thing it is to be home and to have our little boy with us. Life is great. Plus, there is some crazy-intense Olympic badminton action on MSNBC right now.

Saturday was a very long day. Our son had pooped and peed on his parents before we even left the ground, and we were travelling by road or air for fifteen and a half hours straight. But Nathan handled the flights rather well, customs and immigration went very smoothly, and we arrived safely.

Today was another roller coaster day. Lots of ups and downs with Nathan's mood as he began adjusting to his new surroundings. Thankfully, evening bath-time and bed-time went very well and he is sleeping soundly now.

This smile is always hard to catch on camera. Sometimes it is hard to get one from him at all. But whenever it appears, it makes it all worthwhile.

Pray for Nathan's ongoing adjustment to us and his new living arrangements... and for us to adjust to our new living arrangements (no more room service or cleaning ladies).

We will post lots of pictures later, but for now here are two more.

Mommy & Nathan waiting at the Atlanta airport

Nathan's first ride in a car seat (ever!)

Rough Night, Better Day

Last night was rough. Nathan Daniel was not happy with us and it took a long time to soothe him where he could go to sleep. He finally did, but it was very hard emotionally. Then at about midnight I (Mark) woke up with upset stomach. I won't go into detail, but I either ate something bad or caught something bad. From midnight to 5am was very unpleasant and unrestful. But this morning I have felt better. I'm drinking gatorade and eating bland, safe stuff.
We now have our visa that allows us to bring Nathan home, so all that really remains is to get on the plane Saturday. PRAISE GOD for that! Nathan has had less diarrhea and more wet diapers, so it seems like he's improving and staying hydrated. He hasn't been mad at us today for the most part. Bathtime was fun, as well as playing with a beach ball. And of course meal times are a blast. Pray that getting ready for bed goes much more smoothly tonight, and that we have a good safe day-trip to Antigua tomorrow. Thank you so much for your prayers. We'll be home in just two days!

Buenos Dias!

A Quick Post: There is playroom at our hotel for adopting families and they have internet. Woo hoo! We have been hanging out with Nathan Daniel for 3 days, so now we know firsthand what many of you already know... parenthood is difficult but very very very rewarding. We have had several low moments: he missed his foster mom very much at first and he has a slight cold plus a nagging case of diarrhea. (Seriously, it's like diaper-changing boot camp! But don't worry, we talked to our Dr. at home who said to just keep him hydrated with pedialyte, which seems to be helping.) But we have also had many more wonderful moments: playing "where's Nathan Daniel" with his blankie, tickling him, cuddling with him, and just watching him sleep. Not to brag, but he is rather handsome. He also seems to be a daredevil...it's like he's always looking for his next bump on the head--oh boy! But generally he is WONDERFUL!
Please pray that he can trust us more consistently. Sometimes when he wakes up everything, including us, is so unfamiliar that it makes him sad. But he always does warm up to us, praise God. Pray for his tummy to feel better quickly and for us to stay healthy. Sorry, no pics for now, but we'll make up for it soon. Thank you for your prayers. We wouldn't be here without them!

Getting Ready

Well we are finally packing and getting ready to pick up our son. We can't wait!! All night we have been talking about how there will be a little boy running around our house when we come home. Mark it on your calendars. . . AUGUST 9, 2008--HOMECOMING DAY!!! (unless our flight is delayed . . . sorry, still working on the cynicism :) ).

This is a picture of our in-progress packing.

If you are interested in meeting us at the airport, you are welcome to come. Check with one of our parents for the arrival time. (it's late so we aren't expecting many to be able to come).

We Really Are Going This Time

Why are we still awake and blogging at 1am? Because we just finished booking our flights and making our hotel reservations for our trip to Guatemala NEXT WEEK!
That's right, we are leaving Monday morning (early!) and coming back Saturday evening (late!). And we'll be bringing a special someone back with us on Saturday.
We got our approval by mail today and called the embassy to get our new appointment later today also.
Pray for safe & timely travel, easy adjustment for all involved, our health as we travel, and for our last few days of preparation. Nathan Daniel is really coming home!!!!!!

Waiting. . .

We still don't know when we will travel to GT. I am very impatient and need to know something! Please pray we will hear about our status soon!
Janet